What happened??

What happened? I have been in a bit of denial lately. I believe this finally snapped me out of it.
My baby boy just turned one.... actually he turned one at the end of last month. Now with my other children I have thrown a big birthday party, inviting family and friends making the cakes myself etc. With Bubbo's birthday approaching I think I was trying to ignore it.
I was going to have a family birthday party when everything the world began conspiring against me. My poor mother in law fell a couple days before the birthday celebration. She broke her hip and ended up in the hospital. She had to have surgery and will be out for weeks. Approximately the same time I received a phone call from my mother telling me my Grandmother had passed unexpectedly in the night. Sadly she lives on the other side of the country and tickets were around $650 round trip. There is no way I could afford to fly my family of 5 out there for the funeral. And my option of leaving my children with my in laws so I could go alone was not available. So I helped my parents get ready for their trip and dropped them off at the airport.
Considering that my parents were gone, my husbands parents were tied up and I was dealing with the loss of my grandmother.... Celebrating my sons birthday was pushed to the way side. Emotionally I don't think it bothered me too much... I was not ready to admit that my baby had turned one. When did he grow up? I look at pictures of him as a baby and wondered how he changed so quickly in front of my eyes without me seeing how much he has grown. Within days of his 1st birthday he decided to prove how much he was growing up by taking he first steps.
Days passed and I began to realize that the dreams of the big first birthday party I had imagined for him was just not going to happen. So I finally admitted I had failed as super mom (at least go round) and in a snap decision while planning the 4th of July (Note when I say the planning..it was only an hour before my parents plane landed so about 4:00pm on the 4th of July)... I was at the store and in utter defeat purchased a sad walmart birthday cake and a smaller cake for him to have for his own. The baby boys birthday party consisted of his immediate family, My parents and my brother and his wife. We sang happy birthday and he had his first cake which despite it being thrown together with a pathetic excuse for a cake turned out just as fun as it would have been . Because of the last minute planning we went without presents. At least he got to see fireworks for the very first time.
So there it is the sad excuse for a birthday party. The most I can hope is that he will never remember and perhaps I can make it up next year.

In the end... I feel increadibly blessed that the baby boy is here and healthy. A year ago we were in the hospital with a baby boy... scared out of our minds. Unsure of the future, not knowing what was wrong and not knowing if he would make it. He did our Father in Heavan has blessed us and now a year later he is a wonderful Healthy baby boy. I can not imagine not having him here, part of our family, part of our life. He is amazing and I am grateful.

I'm terrible.

Okay- So I am really awful at this blogging thing. I will try and do better. Time -well, there is just not enough of it. Time flies when you are having fun... Lately time flies even when your not.
Since it has been a while (that is an understatement) I will give you a quick update and go from there. Chica and boy have one month of school left. Now, normally I would be dreading them being home all day (they tend to bicker a lot) but this year has been a rough one. The boy is in kindergarten and I have been taking them to their old school since we moved, I wanted them to be able to finish up the year. Problem with this is.... It takes me twenty minutes to get there. I have to drive there to drop them off in the morning, pick the boy up mid day and then again to pick up the Chica at the end of school. So you can only imagine the amount of time I spend packing up the kidlets driving back and forth and the tremendous mileage and gas bill it creates. I am exhausted and feeling extremely done. I am really looking forward to spending some time at home. Unfortunately due to my schedule my work at home has suffered. My home projects are sadly neglected.
The hubby has been spending some time out of town and I am feeling tired of responsibilities by my self. I look back at my life now and wonder how I ever survived 17 months with out him. I suppose you do what you have to do. After this little trip he will be home for a while.
I have not had time for any fun, cute little projects... I am hoping to take some up when my schedule changes.
Chica is turning 9 in a couple of days. When does it happen? When do they go from needing you constantly to thinking you know nothing? Yesterday she was a baby snuggled in my arms refusing to let me put her down (not that I minded too much.) Now she is steps away from being a teenager and I don't feel ready.
On top of this Bubbo baby turns one at the end of this month. I really enjoy the stage he is at now. He still needs me. His personality shows more every day. The only part I can't figure out is why at almost one, he is still not sleeping through the night. I forgot what it was like to get a decent nights sleep. Any help here?
So this is my life in a nutshell. Always running, trying to keep up with constant change. I am hoping to keep this updated more frequently. Until the next time... have a good one.

In a funk

So I am sorry it has been a while since I have posted (Since I don't have many readers it is more sorry to myself) I have been in a funk lately that I can't quite shake. It doesn't help that I am sick. I have the "Icky Ewws" as my daughter would say. She even has a song for it, but that's another post. I also have a sick chica, sick boy and worst of all sick bubbo. I have still not figured out why Mothers are allowed to get sick. How is it that we are supposed to take care of everyone else (Especially when they are sick) when we can barely get out of bed. So this week I have to admit I am a failure as a fabulous mother and my kiddos would agree. It frustrates me that I have no patients when I am sick. It also is irritating that it takes me 10 times longer to get better because I can't just lay in bed and rest. It frustrates the hubby too. He doesn't seem to understand the getting sick thing very well... He was born naturally healthy. He hardly ever gets sick except once a quarter or so and when he does he goes to the bedroom turns off the lights shuts the door lays in bed and doesn't move for a day (Note that he is not bothered by anyone during this time) Then the next day he wakes up feeling almost as good as new and off he goes. I wish I knew how to do that. Until then everyone in my little family suffers.

Those little moments in time.

Have you ever noticed that try as you may to plan special experiences with your friends and families it is always those spontaneous little moments that become memorable and stay with us. The most fun I have had this Holiday season happened completely on it's own at the most unexpected time.
My sister traveled from her home a few hours from me to visit my parents and my family for Christmas. We tried to plan a Christmas celebration and do fun things but it always ends up more stressful than fun (As things often do with my family) So Monday they were packing up their things to head on the trip back home. The kids were on complete overload and the adults were at the end of our ropes. It the process of packing, the kids escaped out front running around wildly in the cold snow. My brother in Law was attempting to pack up the family dog and it's belongings and dumped the entire bucket of tiny dog food all over the front porch and step. We began cleaning it up and before I realized who started it or how it began there was snowballs flying in every direction. The adults and children alike... running around outside in the cold with no coats or gloves flinging snow with our bare hands at each other... laughing and giggling. Even Nana got in on it (A miracle in and of it self) We played for a good half an hour until we were all frozen wet and cold yet still with big smiles on all of our rosy faces.
These are the things memories are made of. I Cherish these moments the most.

Adult Proof

Why must all children's toys be secured as if they were a national treasure? I hardly believe barbies and bakugans' qualify for that status. Why is it that for days after Christmas I am still trying to unlock the packages that are my children's Christmas presents. All of you whom have children know exactly what I am talking about. They package things so tightly it takes a miracle to get them open. There is tape, screws, twisty ties, rubber bands and all other manner of securing devices. Next thing you know we will need bolt cutters and explosive devices to free the darn things. If I didn't know better I would say it takes more to package the toys than it does to make them. I wish some day they would figure out a better way to do things but I doubt it. One can dream can't they?

My fancifuls.

So I finally have broken through the thick layer of uncertainty and started to just create things. Perfect they may not be but at least I have overcome my reluctant tendencies. So hopefully they can only get better. Over a year ago or so I went bead crazy... addictive little shinnies they are. I went and purchased hundreds of dollars worth of beads and beading supplies with grand plans in store to create things I could sell on eBay or the such. When I felt satisfied I had enough to get me started I went home and proceeded to freeze with fear. I decided that I could not possibly make anything anyone would want to purchase let alone find appealing. So ... the beading supplies lay dormant in a box in my basement. Until now... I finally decided I needed to just start making something and get my self over my idiosyncrasy's. So here they are... My fancifuls. I made a couple of beaded spider Christmas ornaments to go with the spider Christmas story and a couple of beaded necklaces to give to the Nana's.

Poor Hubby.

I have decided that my poor hubby is doomed. It is bad enough that there is always a honey do list ... (But then again.. most hubby's have those) Mine involves grandiose projects all the time. Creations of my mind left for him to try and create with only my explanation for directions. We just moved and are still getting settled in and we have a TON of to do projects on fixing up the home here and there. I have already created two projects on top of all the others that I want him to build. He seems to enjoy it so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad... and well... I have to say it is his fault for being so handy and so darn good at it. I love the hubby he makes me happy.